Samida’s Challenge of Honour and Shame
One of the challenges secret believers in Central Asia face is the issue of honour and shame. Upholding the honour of the family is one of the most important duties. Shame can be brought on the family through certain events and behaviours that are frowned upon by the community. The behaviour of women is particularly scrutinized, it’s often a reason for gossip and loss of reputation of a family.
The men in the family are held accountable for the conduct of the women. In the following story, Samida is bringing shame on her family in at least two ways: she is still single even though she is over 20 years old, and furthermore, she has strayed from the traditions of her family and culture, as she adheres to a ‘foreign religion’. Samida has no suitors; it’s a shame to be single at 26, Samida is at an age where women in her culture are expected to be married and have children, preferably some sons. Having not done so by the age of 21 is considered very unusual within her culture never mind age 26. Marriage is viewed as a way for women to achieve a respectable status, a level of dignity and value. However, as the years pass, Samida’s parents do not receive any negotiations for her hand in marriage, which stirs up gossip and embarrassment for them within their community.
Samida has a ‘foreign belief’ Samida’s father, who is almost blind, became a Christian when she was a teenager, declaring, “If Jesus is as mighty as they say He is, He will heal my eyes.” But nothing happened; no healing took place. Samida’s parents were deeply disappointed with Christianity and the Lord Jesus, so they decided to return to Islam. Samida, however, stayed faithful to Jesus and held on to her new-found hope, despite this being the beginning of a long road of suffering for her.
Samida’s parents take their frustration out on her. “It is your fault; you dishonour us by holding on to Christianity. No wonder there are no suitors for you! Don’t you realize you bring shame on this household?!” Every day Samida has to listen to these words which are accompanied by many beatings.
“No More Room for Samida; Go, Share the Shed with the Animals!”
One of the jobs Samida has in the family is caring for the sheep and goats. Every day she goes out into the fields with the animals. Whenever she is there and has a moment to spare, she digs up her New Testament (Injil) which is buried in the field. Reading it keeps her going in times of despair. One day, however, her mother caught her doing so. She was furious with her and beat her terribly and burned the Injil before her eyes. When she was recently seen by other Christians in her area, she was crying, and had a black eye. Her mother had grasped her by her hair, dragged her onto the market square in the town and had beaten her with a rod in front of everyone. “My mother tells everyone that I am a bad and lazy woman. She treats me like a slave. I am working day and night for my parents. Now they tell me that there is no more room for me in the house and it is better that I share the shed with the animals. In their eyes I am nobody. I cannot leave the town and move somewhere else, for that would spoil my reputation even more.”
A woman on her own is very limited in her freedom of movement. When she lives on her own, people immediately assume that she is involved in prostitution and she can never feel safe.
“Apart from that, the laws in our country do not permit me to permanently settle in another town. I can only stay there temporarily. Everybody is more or less expected to stay in the town where they were born. Is there a solution for me? Is there a way out? Sometimes it is extremely hard for me to be in this situation. Would you please pray with me that my parents will have a change of heart, so that they will return to the Lord Jesus? That their faith will not be dependent on a miracle of healing, but on the steadfastness of His Word? That we as a family will be able to worship the Lord Jesus and that the relationship with my parents will be restored?”
Prayer Request:
Samida asks, “Would you please pray with me that my parents will have a change of heart, so that they will return to the Lord Jesus? That their faith will not be dependent on a miracle of healing, but on the steadfastness of His Word? That we as a family will be able to worship the Lord Jesus and that the relationship with my parents will be restored?”
